bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
