The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
A+ Viking dick
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
