When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
