Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Found the puke drawer
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize