Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
