The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
