So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
