Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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