none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
