i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
