the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
high people should be assigned attendants
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
