Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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