Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
