If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
