so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
