You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Jerry, you need to find god
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
