I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
