Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
