oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
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