she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
