so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
