You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize