Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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