Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
