whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
