i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
