I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
