shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
