Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
