Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
