i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
