i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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