i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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