"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
