My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
