Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
