Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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