I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
