69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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