I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
