he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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