guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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