ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
