i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
