I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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