that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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