They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
