if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
