how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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