Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
