My brain says no but my pants say off.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
