He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
