worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
