He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
