i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
