like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
